Steve Has Difficulty Opening Non-Dairy Creamer
July 12, 2001
MANITOU SPRINGS, CO -- Steve Garufi's lack of mechanical ability
plummeted to a new low when he failed to open a container holding
non-dairy creamer for his coffee.
Struggling and wrestling with the container for almost five mintues
at a local Manitou Springs church,
Steve's self-worth and sense of adequacy
took a mighty blow as he experienced the futility of lightening his
hot black coffee.
"I couldn't believe itů" explained Steve, holding his coffee in a plastic cup, "I stood there for a few minutes, doing every logical
thing I could to open it, but I just couldn't."
Flustered by the impasse and grateful no one noticed,
Garufi sulked in self-degrading thoughts as he stood alone and embarrasssed
in the lobby.
When Roger Sommers (adjacent photo) approached to
get coffee for himself, Steve revealed his secret problem to the acquaintance.
Willing to help, Roger grabbed the cylinder container and within seconds,
had the powdered creamer pouring out.
"Oh, the problem is it's never been opened," the muscular
Colorado Springs resident replied, "you needed to pop the big
"I kind of started to wonder about me ... as if my manhood was
somehow in question because I couldn't open up this stupid
container," Steve blurted in anger, blaming the package design for the problem,
"It was a cheap Walmart
brand, so it's a piece of garbage!"
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