Non-Dairy Creamer

Steve Has Difficulty Opening Non-Dairy Creamer

July 12, 2001

Non-Dairy Creamer MANITOU SPRINGS, CO -- Steve Garufi's lack of mechanical ability plummeted to a new low when he failed to open a container holding non-dairy creamer for his coffee.

Struggling and wrestling with the container for almost five mintues at a local Manitou Springs church, Steve's self-worth and sense of adequacy took a mighty blow as he experienced the futility of lightening his hot black coffee.

"I couldn't believe itů" explained Steve, holding his coffee in a plastic cup, "I stood there for a few minutes, doing every logical thing I could to open it, but I just couldn't."

Non-Dairy CreamerFlustered by the impasse and grateful no one noticed, Garufi sulked in self-degrading thoughts as he stood alone and embarrasssed in the lobby.

When Roger Sommers (adjacent photo) approached to get coffee for himself, Steve revealed his secret problem to the acquaintance. Willing to help, Roger grabbed the cylinder container and within seconds, had the powdered creamer pouring out.

"Oh, the problem is it's never been opened," the muscular Colorado Springs resident replied, "you needed to pop the big triangle open."

"I kind of started to wonder about me ... as if my manhood was somehow in question because I couldn't open up this stupid container," Steve blurted in anger, blaming the package design for the problem, "It was a cheap Walmart brand, so it's a piece of garbage!"


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