Two Hour Search: Passport Found Amidst Junk & Crap In Storage Room
MANITOU SPRINGS, CO - It took two hours of
Steve "ColoradoGuy" Garufi rummaging through junk and crap in his storage
room to finally find this passport, it was announced today.
Steve's extra bedroom was converted into a storage area, but quickly degenerated
into a sea of clutter with boxes, books and old crap throughout the room.
"I accidently stepped on the spare winter tires (for his car) and nearly knocked
over the bookcase. I almost twisted my ankle, but I'm okay." explained Steve.
Upon finding his passport, Steve quickly went on the Friendship Board to share
the good news (he needs two photo I.D.'s to take the NCE exam on October 22), but
others seemed to have more feedback about the passport and the messy storage area.
"Steve, I honestly don't know how you can live like that
with all that clutter and messiness." wrote Kansas Kelly.
Also, many claimed Steve looks
like a "terrorist" in his passport photo.
"That photo looks like a terrorist! ... 'Better search his luggage...'" wrote Jeremiah
Johnson in Chicago, Illinois. Bloom, a Norwegian regular on the forums agreed: "That was
my first thought as well!!! LOL"
An article on this web site once documented an incident where Steve
removed eight pounds (Yes! Eight pounds!) of garbage and crap from
his Honda CRX. His overflowing waste baskets were also photographed on this web site in 2003.
Steve's Obsessive Visiting Of Cactus Shop Becomes Problematic
MANITOU SPRINGS, CO - Steve "ColoradoGuy" Garufi's continual
and obsessive visiting of a local cactus shop has becoming problematic, according to sources.
A leery shop owner recently confronted Steve on his pattern of photographic cacti but never actually buying one yesterday which brought the issue to a head.
"I told her I have new web site called CactusLovers.com, but
I'm not sure if she believed me. She seemed spooked out by me." explained Steve (bottom photo).
"I think if you're a customer, they shouldn't give you a
hard time, but if you are visiting
everyday and not buying anything that's a little strange I'll admit." said Abby G.
of Colorado Springs.
Steve's web site, CactusLovers.com,
is planned to be the premier web site in
the world for people who love cacti. However, with traffic relatively low on the site and nobody making cactus submissions, Steve has been in charge of photographing and writing about them.
"I don't know squat about cacti, except that I like freaking people out when
I kiss them." said Steve.
Hair Consultant Ben Will Not Be Fired Despite Selfishness, Incompetence
Controversial Leader "Has Not Broken The Rules and Will Stay" Said Steve
BRECKENRIDGE, CO - With pressuring mounting
on many fronts to fire controversial Hair Consultant Ben Paulson (right photo), Steve
"ColoradoGuy" Garufi announced he and the ColoradoGuy
community are "stuck with Ben" until next year's April 2006 election.
"I want everyone to know that I've gotten your e-mails and I couldn't respond to all of them because they were so many.
I'll admit Ben has done a terrible job as Hair Consultant, but I'm not allowed to fire him." explained Steve.
Although a recent poll indicated 59% of the ColoradoGuy community desire Steve to fire Ben
immediately, Ben has not broken any of the rules that would
allow his firing. They are: 1) If the Hair Consultant (HC) acts like a drama queen, 2)
If the HC says Steve should cut his hair, or 3) If the HC has no contact with Steve for over one month.
Earlier in the week, the hatred and animosity towards those wanting Ben to be fired had reached a 'boiling point',
and Steve actually stopped his bicycling ride in downtown Breckenridge
to hold a press conference (on his birthday, no less!) to calm everyone down.
"I'm not crazy about his political views and
and other things about Ben, but I think we just need to put up
with him until next year's election. If he runs for re-election, the voters can
reject him then." said Steve (adjacent photo).
Below are two examples of anti-Ben emails Steve received this month:
"I read (Ben's) socialist crap on (the) politics (forum) and
I think you should dump him. GET RID OF THE JACKSASS! I did NOT vote for him,
I voted for Pete and I'm damn proud the entire south voted for Pete!" wrote Ames in Jackson, Mississippi.
"Oh just fire him. He's done nothing for your hair and I think he loves all the attention
this web site gives him." wrote Sherrie C. in Colorado Springs, "You've had some awful Hair Consultants,
but Ben is embarrassing."
Hair Consultant Ben has been criticized
for being incompetent (he's done nothing to help Steve's long hair) and selfish
(for not attending the 2005 ColoradoGuy Festival). Ben has also been a proponent and champion of socialism on the Politics Forum, where his forum name is "One With The Tao".
Furthermore, many are still bitter about the results of the April 2005 election, in which Ben won the electoral college
vote, but not win the popular vote.
With the exception of a few females who "gush" over him on the
forums and seem to think he can do no wrong, most are quite unhappy with Ben's leadership.
"The rules are the rules though. If Ben turns into a deadbeat and disappears for awhile, then I can fire him. Otherwise, we're stuck with him whether we like him or not." Steve summarized.
Post a message about any of these articles on my:or, if you'd like to say something on the Cactus Lovers discussion forum, visit the: