Steve's Ripped Shorts Bordering on "Inappropriate to Wear"
April 7, 2002
MANITOU SPRINGS, CO -- A small rip in the backside of Steve "ColoradoGuy" Garufi's
frequently worn shorts has been deemed "inappropriate to wear" in public
by many in his residence of Manitou Springs.
"Oh my! I do not want to be looking at that hole in your shorts."
said Bob Howard in Manitou Springs, "That's not good."
"This is Manitou for crying out loud … people are not going
to give me a hard time about this." Steve snapped, who appears to be in denial about how his shorts have been rapidly fraying for the past month.
The plaid-colored shorts, which Steve purchased last spring,
are Steve's favorite pair in his summer wardrobe and has worn them often. In fact,
the shorts are becoming so noticeably shabby that the front
edges are badly tattered and frayed. The most obvious
problem however, is the rip that slightly exposes Steve's underwear in the back.
Feeling somewhat embarrassed and self-conscious, Steve
concealed the rip in his shorts by leaning on a nearby van
and after a burst of defensiveness, he admitted the life of his favorite shorts are numbered.
"I know the days are numbered for these shorts. In fact,
I wouldn't dare wear them to church,
so that says something. I bought these shorts
with my ex-Hair Consultant, you know, when
she helped me improve my wardrobe."
The Manitou Springs resident and psychotherapist shared he particularly likes wearing the shorts because
"they are really comfortable" and tends to match well with whatever
type of shirt he chooses to wear.
Steve intends to wear his ripped shorts throughout the spring
when he thinks it's appropriate and did receive support from one
Manitou Springs local. Paul Ward, son of another ex-Hair Consultant
, maintained the rip in Steve's shorts is not as unsightly as it seems.
"It's just a slit … it doesn't look to bad." Ward said.
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